Clarification
I suppose this is an open letter to my future therapy sessions, the one where we cover “self importance” and “self-reference” and the death of “self esteem,” but I need to take a second to type clearly and speak in a non-shaded voice:
Dear Reader:
Why are you here? You don’t need a reason. If it feels right, just go with it. On the off chance that you’re here on a legitimate, real-world-authentified research assignment into the character and integrity of the author, myself, let me clarify a few things about the contents herewithin.
1. I don’t know if “herewithin” actually means anything.
2. If you read a post on this online diary, you are illegally trespassing in my heart; and also, I don’t mean that. This is a diary in the same way as a toilet is a food processor—it’s not really intended to have a dignified presence. It’s more important that it’s just there to catch all the shit.
3. I am terrible with metaphors.
4. I am educated, and I almost always intend the words that I write, however wrong they may seem. If a post appears authored by a 5th grader, perhaps ye who smelt it dealt it? …..seriously, I just want to be silly sometimes, and at other times I just want to self-depricate myself for actually using the word “silly” to describe anything I do.
5. You might find nothing here of value; maybe you don’t find me funny. But I do have excellent qualifications! I am a good manager, i has word processing skills, i am a self-starter, I get to work early and leave the work late. I am an interpersonal person, i like other people too. Nobody will work harder for work than me will.
Sincerely,
Joe
