I don’t have a work to read this anymore, so here you go
I have been confused on the direction of my life for a few years now. It’s the luxury of not-needyness, and I will try to complain as little as possible. In many ways, I have figured out the major arc of my life—I am married, we have a son, there are multiple animals that sleep where we sleep, we own a house that we do things to and for the last six weeks I don’t hate what I do for a living.
That last point is what I am undecided on. All of those other aspects of my life make it wonderful. They give me a purpose to wake up and want to keep going; they keep me emotionally present.
My “for a living” purpose is a gapping hole. I am in the fortunate position right now to be a stay-at-home dad/spouse. I quit the only real career I’ve ever had—and even that “career” was meant as a space-filler from college graduation until my real life started. I learned a lot and liked it for awhile (even convincing myself that the space that needed to be filled would figure itself out and end when appropriate) until I hated it for a long time (the work, not necessarily the workers). I had a prosperous first 18 months, and a “rough” following three years. It’s going to take a lot to forget all of the time I wasted during 12-hour shifts with two hours of actual work, but I’ll get there eventually.
What I told the internet minutes after being hired, nearly five years ago—link.
So I’ve made proclamations before on what I’m going to do in the future, and they almost always guarantee I will not do them. To buck this trend, here are different things I’m wanting to accomplish, or think about, or try, or fail at without a second thought:
-Start an organic-ish vegetable garden
-Learn the basics of woodworking, basic furniture design and assembly.
-Write more to the internets, and share with people who might write back.
-Learn basic sign language with my son, and do as many of these things as I can with him (without endangering him around power tools and boiling water).
-Try to add in some fresh music to the collection of songs I’ve been listening to since college.
-Learn to cook (in progress)
-Start a native plant garden/prairie in that one weird spot of the yard
-Read one book (to start), then maybe another.
-Do one hundred consecutive pushups
-Eat less M&Ms (and maybe stop buying the annoyingly big bag at Costco that never seems to end, and has a ziplock seal so they last for weeks…)
Not at all comprehensive, but I’m hoping it’s a start—especially the writing part. I like when I do that.
